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Beyond False Dilemmas 3: No Real Partnership Without Authenticity 💞

3things jordan myska allen personal growth relatefulness stayinlove Aug 31, 2023


Clients often struggle with such false dilemmas. These seeming sets of opposites create a false sense of tension and suffering that, when brought to the light of awareness, can simply go away. As Heraclitus said 25 centuries ago, “The road up and the road down are the same thing”.


Client: “I feel afraid.”

Coach: “Feeling into it now, what’s it like? What are you afraid of?”

Client: “If I tell my partner how I authentically feel, they won’t love me anymore.”

Coach: “Do you really want to be with a partner that doesn’t love the authentic you?”

Client: “Of course not.”

Coach: “Then what do you have to lose? Sounds like you can’t really lose anything you care about.”


(The false opposite is ‘either I hide my authentic feelings or I lose the partnership’, and the resolution comes from seeing that there’s no real partnership to lose without room for authentic feelings, so there’s no actual tension, and what seemed to be diametrically opposed is the same.)


WIth love, Jordan


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