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FOMO to SOMO - Significance Of Missing Out 🤔

3things jordan myska allen personal growth relatefulness stayinlove Aug 24, 2023


Our willingness to say ‘no’ amplifies the value of what we say “yes” to.

From this view FOMO (fear of missing out) is replaced with SOMO—the significance of missing out (I just made that up). If I turn down a million dollar job offer, every job after that is worth more than a million dollars. Marriage/monogamy is another good example: I make my relationship more sacred via exclusion. The crucible as a daily choice adds depth. If I'm constantly traveling I'm (usually) saying ‘no’ to roots and community (and vice versa); recognizing this makes either lifestyle more meaningful.

Some bonuses of this view I’ve been contemplating with friends:

  • Our commitments are expressions of greater freedom
    Without commitment, we have ∞ options; with commitment, we have ∞ +1: the multitude of choices plus the profound experience of honoring our commitment. 
  • Every moment is significant
    Everything we do is excluding nearly infinite alternatives of what we could do, making every moment deeply significant—especially when we realize that we’re choosing. 
  • Language and conscious selection
    We practice this phenomenologically every moment of relatefulness—out of the infinity of happenings in awareness, we choose one to distinguish in language. We say no to all the others, and we learn how to tune into the relationship to see what kinds of choices will lead to whatever we're looking for (ideally more truth and love).
  • We don’t get to not choose


With love, Jordan


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