Self-Held group 🕸️Nov 16, 2023
There’s a palpable shift for people practicing Relatefulness when they start to realize that they don’t have to “hold” others. They never could, nor did they ever have to, because the group is self-held in the wholeness of our (already) interconnectivity. This sounds ethereal but can be extremely practical: Next time you feel overwhelmed in a session, notice if you’re assuming that your single body needs to process the overwhelming energy/emotion, and see if you can let it be held by all the bodies instead. If you’re assuming you as an individual needs to understand what’s happening, what if you consider yourself a single neuron that’s already helping the collective compute?
Or if you’re trying to take responsibility for someone else’s well-being, or take on decisions that aren’t yours, or hold a bunch of perspectives, what if you zoom out and see the meshwork of relating as an ecosystem? You’ll recognize that the whole is already holding a diversity and complexity far beyond anything a single individual organism can maintain. The upshot is you can relax. The paradox is that you increase awareness of how deep your autonomy and your communion already are.
Eventually, we might see how the whole universe is holding everything already, both horizontally in all the things making us up and supporting our existence (from oxygen to economies), and vertically in the history that gave rise to us and the futures that will inherit and correct and heal and transclude what’s happening today. Suddenly even something like a political protest—for the side of an argument you disagree with—feels supportive. The universe brain is tracking and including that too!
With love, Jordan
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