The Impossibility of Taking Up Space 🧶Feb 09, 2023
Why does the above frame matter? I miss really good stuff without it. For example: Worrying about “taking up space” assumes separate interests—individuals first. It leads to arbitrarily limiting myself and judging/resenting others who don’t share my limits. It’s a zero sum game.
Seeing instead one whole expressing many unique ways offers a positive sum game. The pie is always growing—even for those who disagree. This can feel threatening—but think of wrinkles on a blanket. A wrinkle recognizing itself as a ‘part’ of the whole fabric doesn’t threaten its existence as a unique wrinkle. So no need to worry.
“Jordan, what about when someone is sucking up all the air in the Circle though!” Again assume connection and the answer sits in the question. What has you upset? What generates that feeling? That’s where your growth lies, and suddenly the Circle is no longer "about" the person "taking up space", at least not for you. It's about what you're working through in relationship to what's happening. Eg: Maybe you feel like it’s unfair. You look into that feeling and what’s going on is you want attention and you’re afraid you’re not going to get it. Or maybe you look into your irritation and realize you judge that person as needy and weak. You realize that you judge your own weakness, and limit how close people can get to you because you won’t show your vulnerability. There are many potential discoveries, as varied as people and the moment-worlds they're embedded in...
With love, Jordan
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