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Micro-transformation: Tunnel metaphor 🚇

3things interdependence jordan myska allen kegan 5 kegan 5th order meditation personal growth relatefulness Oct 26, 2023


I like to think of a relationship like a tunnel, where I’m the entrance and the other person is the exit. Neither of us exists except in relation to the other—we’re the negative space defined by what’s between us. And what’s between is what matters. Life is what happens inside of our relating.

You can try it now, as a mini meditation. You don’t even need another person, you can just think of how you're thinking of them is changing and affecting you right now. You can even do it with me, noticing how my words are partially shaping you in the future, and you the reader are informing me in the past. This perspective can complement the usual one that assumes we’re separate, autonomous beings, because that’s self-evidently true too. You still exist independently of me, the same way the exit of the tunnel, and the tunnel itself, would still exist if the entrance collapsed (although it wouldn’t really be an exit anymore then, would it? So how independent are you really?).

(more it in part 2, "insights from the tunnel") 

With love, Jordan


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