Don’t believe everything you feel 😯
Aug 20, 2025
Most of us know our mental sense-making is often wrong. “Don’t believe everything you think!”
But—Don’t believe everything you feel either!
This is one of Jonathan Haidt’s “Three great untruths”, things we’re teaching our kids that are setting them up for a very difficult life of unnecessary suffering:
(1) “What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker”;
(2) “Always trust your feelings”; and
(3) “Life is a battle between good people and evil people.”
Relatefulness is NOT a practice of blindly trusting your emotional whims. That’s definitely not “surrender”, and demonstrably not healthy relating (try it, you’ll get quick data).
Relatefulness is a practice of allowing more (of what’s already here) to be experienced, in relationships. In allowing, we unfuse with our resistance, start to see what we’ve been avoiding, and get to choose what to do with it—ideally in service of truth and love. But it’s hard to unfuse from emotions that we’re not allowing to exist. And it just so happens many of us millennials and older didn’t learn to welcome and work with our emotions, so we need extra help in the emotional realm.
With love, Jordan
More like this?
Fresh practices, psyche-activating perspectives, & relationship tips every week in your inbox. Plus occasional updates from our team.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
