Toddler parallels: Creating our own suffering 🍳

Yesterday morning Jack was playing while Cecilia ate her eggs. Ten minutes later she was done and got down from her stool. Suddenly Jack was distraught. “But I wanted to eat eggs when Bubba Girl is eating eggs!” he wailed. None of us knew this—I’m not even sure he knew until it was too late. But now there were no eggs and there was no going back. His morning was just… ruined. 

What struck me was how he was the architect of his own suffering. He created the cage (the idea of eating at the same time) and then he kept himself imprisoned. He could make up a new idea. But his construct had become reality to him. So he got to experience grief and powerlessness.

We are all Jack. About almost everything. This is such a universal spiritual truth that it feels trite: When I stop clinging to my ideas of how things should be, I stop suffering. Bubba Girl eats eggs, regardless of Jack’s desires. The economy, my job, “I am not enough”, “life isn’t fair”, my expectations of how others should treat me; these are all Bubba Girl eating eggs.

Jack’s commitment to his created reality unveils one pathway to a different experience. What are we assuming to be true, that we instead made up? Possibly everything. Hence Relatefulness’ relentless inquiry into the basics that everyone else takes for granted.

(note: I read this to Jack when he was upset later and although he wasn't impressed by the content, he did calm down with me reading.)

With love, Jordan