Impossible premises, perfectionism, and nothing to forgive 🤦
May 16, 2025
The other night I got so angry at my kids; they would not go to sleep.
“Shh, no more talking”, I whisper to Jack. He shouts his response “but I’m trying to be quiet!” Now I’m more angry—and judging myself for expecting a 3 year old to pick up on irony.
Eventually I’m aware enough to ask for help from my wife. I definitely don’t make her wrong for not pre-cognitively knowing I’m at my limit. I definitely don’t passive aggressively criticize her failure to be psychic. 😬
The perfectionist in me that feels like I need to earn love, health, happiness is shocked that my kids and wife are cuddling affectionately with me the next morning. The kids want me to play Spidey and my wife is cooking us all breakfast with a smile.
I pray not to lose intimacy with this perfectionist. I’m too familiar with the cost of pretending: Projecting these unattainable expectations onto my family. I pray that in seeing the illusory nature of their “trespasses”—the true meaning of forgiveness—I’ll learn to forgive myself in mine.
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With love, Jordan
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